Thank God for...

Thank god for Strawberry flavored Vodka, cause 10 shots of that is way better than 7 of regular. Thank god for high waisted jeans cause I'm tired of my ass crack showing. Thank god for spare tires (donuts acorse), they can last up to months, son!! Thank god for any fast food that's open past 2am. Thank god for Gangsta Rap, because sometimes I just wanna say, "bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks". (Bitches. Pertaining to men of course). Thank god for friends, because when I talk it seems more like pouring my heart out and less like complaining. Thank god for "Fresh Prince of Bel Air", reminds me of once upon a time when there were no bills and my biggest problem was what to wear on the first day of school. Thank God for Facebook, Myspace, Music videos, Walmart, Award Shows, and the clubs, because without them I can't have judgemental conversations about people and their outfits, shoes, facial expression, future husbands (or secret husbands), weaves, and of course performances to make me feel better about myself. Thank God for Baseball and Golf Season, its just a constant reminder to get my ass off of the couch and to do something other than watch T.V. because everything on T.V. will put me straight to sleep. Thank God for Greys Anatomy, nothing more to be said. Thank God for Old Navy, because cheap and decent is in, in 2008. Thank God for tights and leggings because everyone. no matter the size seems to have enough self esteem to put them on. Self-esteem is good! Thank God for Amy Winehouse, good music and GREAT laughs! Thank God casual sex isn't so bad anymore. Thank God coffee isn't just for the morning. So needless to say, "Starbucks" is heaven. Thank God you can walk into 7-Eleven dressed as a welfare check cashin, veitnam veteran bein, clown suit wearin, R.V. drivin, leather coat in the summer time doin, Uggs with courdaroy rockin, rollers in you are hair havin, snaggle tooth danglin bum, because I'd never go. Thank God for bar-b-que, because life would never seem priceless. Thank God for struggle, because my name would just be Barney and Friends. Thank God for "soft rock"; like "Lady in Red" and "You Mean the World to Me", because love would be pointless. Thank God for parks, because I would never get the "don't talk to strangers" speech. Thank God for, tweezers, mirrors, magazines, models, clothes, and IKEA, because I'd have no obsessions.

THANK GOD, I'm alive and well. I better get over the rest of my so called "hardships". Life aint so bad, I'm sure another episode of "I Love NY" is coming on!