RANDOM

This is a throwback.. before the blogspot i decided to put on here for my new found blogging friends!

On many nights, I drive in my car with the music loud, so when I try to hit the highest notes, I feel like I'm Whitney. I like to get lost in my car. Lost in deep thought. In my car, I make up scenerios of how I would want my success to come about. You know, like that "great story" that your friends would tell about you, on your own documentary featured on OETA. Like one day I was walking down the streets of New York, after leaving my third side job, a man stops to help me find the quarter I dropped that I of course need to catch the train, and I look up to find that its Bob Dylan asking me to be apart of his new reality show called "who wants to be a farmer/dancer/biscuit baker". And I cry, because I know I'm so great at all of those things..I get on the show and my brilliant personality lands me the biggest and most talked about role in one of the greatest movies since, since.... "Forest Gump". I win an Oscar and even write my own book. I don't even need an editor. I get married to basically a God, and we have five children. Two of them are quarterbacks for 5 time Superbowl Championship Teams, (yes both on different teams, and both of them have 5 rings), 1 is a doctor who invents the "body transplant", like full body; hair, balls, legs, the whole shabang. 1 is a drug addict, (got to be realistic, atleast ones a fuck up), and the other becomes the first man to fly to Saturn on a motorized broom stick. We both die at 108, with all of our teeth, and in our sleep.... But then I look up and I find myself in a parking space, wondering how I got there. I sit for awhile, take a deep breath, get out of the car, and enter back into the reality of it all. LIFE. I go to my bed where I lay alone forced to worry about all of my endless responsibilities. All of my dumb insecurities. All of my past. All of the poverty. All of racism. All of the confusion and stupidity. All of the dreams I have that just seem like dreams. All of the things I could turn to, like drugs or vodka. All of the money I don't have. All of the reasons why no matter what I have it never seems quite enough. All of the lies. All of the crime. All of the damn time. And I say, "Shit, I think ill just take a drive to the walmart in Yukon." Yeah I'm stupid.