The Truth About Women: Lesson 1

I decided to start a series of truths, for and about a majority of women in todays society. Somehow men think they have us figured out. This is in fact false. There isn't the slightest bit of possibility of that even being close to even being remotely true. See, men in their simple thoughts, have allowed simple mindedness to bamboozle their simple brains. This fact, (and yes I think everything I say is in fact a fact), has led men to believe that women's ability to convey emotion without being "gay" or called a "fag", as a DEFINING characteristic of women. However, if women were in fact JUST emotional creatures, that would make women as simple as men. To all you people (men) who want evidence of this FACT, then you try carrying one 0r more children in a tiny womb for nine months. And thanks to the EVOLUTION of the modern man...

*Clears the throat

DIRT BAG, women have also learned to nurture, clothe, teach, and provide for an entire family with the weight of the world on their backs SINGLE handedly. I am standing by the FACT that women being simple beings is practically IMPOSSIBLE. Simple mindedness, has set sail, discovered a land of greed, and found a way to make men world leaders, only to destroy the very existence of man. I guess if i had to choose between that role, and being a "desperate, nagging, and emotional bitch of a human", I guess I'll choose B.

Side note: For all of you "emotional" men out there, please don't get too worked up. For I continue to the see the importance of men and their need in the lives of women and small centipedes across the universe. This post is definitely bias, and I see no need for tears.

Back to the point..

LESSON 1: Getting Laid Sooner Than Later


When a girl walks in the club her motive is no different from a thirsty man looking for a quick fix. If a guy comes up to a lady and says, "hey whats your name?" No matter what you look like you've lost cool points and now it's going to take numerous text messages, phone calls, picture mail, and dates to get laid. (YES! I said "cool points") Why? You ask. Simply because you have begun to talk, and you're saying all of the WRONG simple things. Hide your simpleness. For the sake of getting down, pretend to be something youre not. Seeing as though most women live in some fantasy land where unicorns play and men are slaves, i don't see anything wrong with pretending. If you're a guy and you know you're in fact a loser, but you still want to play as if you're on the level of LeBron then take notes. Don't say the same lame lines. Figure out what it is women want to hear. Think COMPLIMENTS first and YOU last. Read a damn Cosmo. Listen to a song or two. Beyonce' aint all over your radio airwaves and televisions for nothing. Put up that fake ass porno.

NOTE: Woman just TALK and play the "porno role" so your cheating ass won't stray. However, it takes lots of work and acting just like in the porno itself. So if WE take the conscious effort of making our encounters a good experience for you, then you should do the same.

Here are a few examples of things TO say when approaching a woman:

1. " those shoes are nice".
Girls spend lots of time on their outfits for the most part. Even if it's whack. And they do it to grab the attention of men. So do us a favor and lie dammit! If you can lie about the girl texting you being your cousin then you can lie and tell us we're fly.

2. "your smile is beautiful".
Usually a woman who is cheesing all night, is either a. drunk or b. trying to flirt. Either way, she's trying to get your attention, so acknowledge the fact.

3."What would you like to drink?".
She didn't even have to bat her lashes. She doesn't even have to play the independent role. You've already decided she's getting a drink from you and thats SEXY! No mater what you look like you can get a dimes attention with this one. Now once you open your mouth, its on you patna!

Here's what NOT TO say:


1. "i like yo ass in that dress".
Tacky and more tacky. Slow down. Geez! Creep in slowly when you start to talk about my body parts. When the time IS RIGHT, say what you'll do to them, not how they look. When it comes to a women's body she's very self-conscious about it anyway, so you're thinking you're giving her a compliment, but in fact now she thinks her ass is too big! Thanks a lot!!

2. "damn baby, whats your name".
First off its my first time meeting you, why is the first word a curse word? Secondly, my name is Xena for all i care, you've given me no reason for you to get to know me. Third, its lame. Like its the first phrase you learn in your baby spanish class, so paleeeaassse!!!


3. "What you drinkin on?"
Who gives a shit? Something some other guy bought me, so keep it movin. Whats even more gross, is after the lady tells you you say, "oh, thats cool". Now you just look cheap, and that is NOT SEXY.

Mostly, these lines are A. Cliche and B. Lame.

If you put more thought into what you say and do, you can get laid quicker than you think.
If you put more thought into what you say and do, you can get laid quicker than you think.
If you put more thought into what you say and do, you can get laid quicker than you think.

MEN: Every woman you meet is not looking for a house, 3 kids, a dog, and fence. We breathe the same air. Sometimes women don't want much out of you either. So get it together for your sake. You could be with a 10 sooner than you think! Plus, thats way cheaper than taking her out to dinner and a movie! Although, you might get a few tricks for that. HAHAHAHA!


Men or women, if you have 3 things to say or not to say when approaching women, let us know!