MY PEOPLE, MY PEOPLE: A Myth Can Be Your Bitch

As I walk through this life and all of its vast amounts of EXPERIENCE it throws my way, i want to be OBSERVANT and working hard towards mastering the true meaning of LIVING. I guess if I werent gaining any knowledge my name would be OJ Simpson, or Sara; a college girl apart of the PLUTO Cast of The Real World, who is yet another person moving into the house, engaged, and walking out single and with a new sexually transmitted disease.I mean every season theres at least one of those. So stupid.

Irregardless...

Just a thought

For some foolish reason, I have always been the type of black woman who only dates black men. I guess living in (joke)lahoma somewhat kept me to "stay" and not to "stray", if you will. I mean black women arent a high commodity around these parts.In Oklahoma, it seems to me that there is an unspoken rule that everyone should stick to their kind. That rule only applying to black women and white men. Ive gathered that other women would say they dont date outside of their race because they feel they OWE something to our black men. Some may say attraction is at question. Somehow theyve made up in their minds that only black men have the power to appeal to 2 or more senses. Maybe the stares, grunts, and whispers arent too appealing either. Dont get me wrong, there are black women STRAY, and actually would prefer to. But maybe the truth lies behind the idea that a REAL black woman, oh wait.. before i go further let me give a you a "definition quickie" of a REAL BLACK WOMAN from my EXPERIENCE DICTIONARY.

Real Black Woman noun an african american woman whos ancestors were slaves, with no real knowledge of any other ethnicity other than african decent. Who checks the box African American when filling out the ethnicity portion of an application. Who may or may not have "good hair". Women of various colors, shapes, and sizes. You can find being exploited on your average music video of any kind and "The Maury Show".

Ok now back to the reguarly scheduled program.

....the idea of a REAL black woman ever being physically, financially, mentally, (sane)cially, (def being of sanity), notloudicially,(def to have the ability to shut your damn mouth), and intellectually EQUAL TO non-black women in America does not exist. I call this idea the, Video Vixen Effect. (This idea will be discussed further in another blog). I'm sure that women of other ethnicities would argue that they too feel that this idea exist within their culture. For example, Asian women are known for there beautifully slanted eyes. It is a feature that defines the anatomy and history of the Asian culture. But when Asian women apply make-up to their eyes they dont get the same shading affect as an Italian woman or a black woman would. Some Asian women get surgery on their eyes that tucks the skin of the the eyelid inward so that there is a crease created to give dimension to the eye. Their feeling of inferiority has played such a role in their lives, that they question the very thing that makes them unique in this world. Please take note that I dont think this idea of inferiority only lies in the black community, but in this blog, Im being selfish and will be discussing this idea in terms of black women.

Hypothetical very short story time.

*Reading Rainbow theme song plays*


You're 8. You go to Miss Stephens' 3rd grade class every morning and see that only you and 1 other girl has hair like you. The EXPERIENCE of learning begins. You're CURIOUS and mind is of wonder, as you make your way home after school while humming the tunes of "Superwoman" by Karen White. You walk into the kitchen, "Mama", you say. "Can I please wear my hair down tomorrow for school?". Your mom's heart begins to break when she has to look you in those big brown eyes and tell you, "No girl. You aint no white girl, now go play with your dolls or something". You do as told, and play with your Barbies, only to look at her and see that even the doll, that appears to look like you, has long straight her, a pointy nose, and a flat ass. You hate her, because for some reason you cant understand why she is darker than you and you still don't feel like you can relate. So you watch T.V, you know, Rainbow Bright, Care Bears, Shera, Smurfs, shit like that. OBSERVANT as you are, you notice that NOT a single character looks, sounds, or experiences anything that surrounds you. You will later learn that you will experience this throughout your life, and forced to deal with media that won't show POSITIVE images of women who look like you.

And this is where the EXPERIENCE of anger and confusion begins.

The real reason I wrote this blog.

I had an EXPERIENCE that made me more OBSERVANT than ever. I went to a club one night with a friend. Now we are both dancers and we love to go out, drink, and dance to all types of music, so this club was pretty diverse. I was looking great as usual, because really theres no other options, smelling good, just got paid from one of the 3 jobs I hold, so feeling good too. The DJ is playing Cherry Pie, and thats my cue to take a cigarette break. Im standing there minding my own business when this guy comes up to me, which is the first since I got to the club 2 hours ago. "Hey miss lady" he says. "You sure are looking good tonight". I smile, tell him thanks for the compliment, because I am a lady and do enjoy a compliment every now and then. He continues the conversation by saying, "you sure look good, but you need to put that cigarette down". I don't exactly know why but I become overwhelmingly angry inside. I argue with him a little trying to justify the fact that Im a fuckin' adult, capable of making decisions, good or bad on my own, and why his opinion means nothing to me. Needless to say he moves around. A guy Ive known for years was there as well. We exchange greetings and catch up a little. He's good, Im good. After 2 minutes of small talk he also proceeds to tell me I shouldnt be smoking cigarettes. "It's not cute", he says. At this point I'm ready to close my tab and go home. After this EXPERIENCE, I start seeing a trend in black men when in a club atmosphere. A.not too many holla at me, unless they're scum and really have nothing to loose.B. If they do decide to dance with you they have a need to touch on my body. Disgusting. C. They feel that a black woman who smokes cigarettes should be told that they shouldnt smoke cigarettes.

One day it hit me. My EXPERIENCE as a child, has left me with a sense of inferiority. Overlooked and disrespected by society. Which could explain the deeply rooted feeling of anger and loneliness. I dont deserve to feel this way. I have a lot to give to this world. So Im putting my foot down on all of this nonsense. Because I think there is some confusion as to the place of black women in our own community and in this world. Im disgusted, that we as black women have allowed society to think, disrespect, and talk of us as if were meaningless creatures who are automatically born at the bottom of the food chain. MY BROTHER, I have a few concerns that needs to be addressed.

Here's where the myths play a role in this blog.

1.Black women shouldnt wear make-up because they dont need it.
Is this some egotistical way for you to keep us looking like we just woke up so some other man wont talk to us? No matter what color you are you should wear make up. Im not saying throw blue eyeshadow all over your face, but make up is used to enhance features you already have. If you work at a place where you have to come in contact with lots of people this is a must. If you go to a dark ass club this is a must. Women should wear make-up. So stop lying when you say you don't like it. Really? Cause when Beyonce comes on t.v. you sure seem to like make-up then. Myth BUSTED.

2.Black women shouldnt smoke, it makes them look ugly. NO ONE should smoke!! Thanks for making us so special to singling us out but thats very ignorant. If you are trying to get at me in the club don't follow your lame ass greeting by telling me i should quit smoking. How would you like it if I said "Hey papi, you lookin' good, but you should stop wearing those clothes because the Tommy hilfiger shirt youre wearing thinking that you were dressed up makes you look very dated, lame and cheap. Hey but can I get your number?". Like who are you to judge me. I didnt decide to smoke because I thought it was cute. Its just one of my many flaws. I dont need someone I dont even know telling me to quit. Worse than a damn Jehovah's witness. MYTH BUSTED

3.Black women have attitudes. Yet another ignorant ass myth. ALL women have attitude. Just like all women have legs. I work in retail and come in contact with lots of women, and women acting like bitches definitely come in ALL color, shapes, and sizes. If I come across unapproachable at the club, its probably, because weve seen heard and dealt with a lot of shit from your kind. So creativity is a must BULLSHIT is a bust.Myth BUSTED.

4. Black women are gold diggers. I'm the first to admit that I love Kanye, and always sings the part that says, "we want prenup,ah yeahhh". But I think sometimes we don't listen too well. I think the phrase goes, "I AINT sayin she's a gold digger but she aint messin with no broke nigga". Its 2008, everyone should have a job, and striving for greatness. So is it too much to ask that you have the following; a job, some goals, a car, and some extra cash to spend? If you don't have one or the other, atleast be working towards it. Anyways, ALL women are gold diggers. There's nothing sexier than a rich man ready to spend!

4. Black women hate black men who date white women. That idea is so simple minded and stupid. Black men who say they only date white women for whatever stupid reason like black women have attitudes, are racist and lame, and thats what ALL WOMEN hate.And i think thats what most woman hate is a LAME ass man.I know it makes your dick hard at the thought of seeing an envious black woman, but lets get real. You know that's not why a black woman might be upset. Myth BUSTED.This very myth will help to conclude this long ass blog.

You're our brothers, uncles, and fathers. You know what we've been through, you were there through our EXPERIENCES. you're the one person we believe knows us truly, our hearts and our minds. You are apart of our souls. Why must you fall into the crowd that believes we are inferior and then sing along with the band? Our beauty lies within ouselves and YOU. Why must your expectations of us be so unrealistic and of perfection. We have flaws, because we are human, like you. If we love you for all of your imperfections, we should be given the same respect. So talk to us with respect. Love us with respect. Treat us with respect, and we will try our best to be the woman of your dreams. We aren't your enemies. Why must our standards be so low of you just so we may share our hearts with you? We can't continue giving ourselves to a man who doesn't answer to a higher power, and lives a life that is hypocritical. Your are MY BROTHER. Protect me.

Ladies, EXPERIENCE and OBSERVE throughout your JOURNEY, this is a big world. Don't hesitate to STRAY.